Wrong Dragon
by Vanbor the Fire Mage
Summary: Dragonborn see dragon. Dragonborn kill dragon. Someone should had told him it was the wrong type of dragon. one-shot


**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own anything.

And so it was that the great World-Eater Alduin was brought low, through the courage and determination of the Dragonborn. The battle which took place in Sovngarde, home to some of Tamriel's greatest heroes, was both great and short partly thanks to the Dragonborn's ridiculously reinforced gear. It is here that we see the aforementioned hero walking slowly towards Tsun, the shield-thane of Shor. Some would describe this walk as ominous, or better yet agitated as if he had just discovered a piece of information that was most definitely not to his liking.

Walking up to Tsun and standing on a small hill so as to be at eye level with him the Dragonborn was interrupted before he could begin to explain his confusion.

"Dragonborn," bellowed the half-naked giant.

"Your victory over the Worm Alduin shall forever be immortalized in song, we shall be hon-"

"Yeah, yeah, Alduin has been defeated, the Dragonborn has fulfilled his destiny, praise him and all that. I'm actually here about the hall," he stated nonchalantly. "How come I can't enter anymore?"

Puffing out his manly and hairy chest, Tsun proudly answered.

"With the defeat of Alduin at your hands there is no more reason for you to enter the Hall of Valor. Not until the day you truly join our ranks," the giant finished with a huge patronizing smile. Much alike a baseball coach would explain to little Jimmy why he had been kept on the reserve this year too.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to say no to that." The Dragonborn said while slowly lowering his hand to his mighty weapon.

"The living should not linger-"

"I really wanted to try some of the food I saw in there."

"The living should not-"

"And some of the women I saw also."

"The living should-"

"I'm kind of curious about this _Matilda_ the shield-maiden I have been hearing so much about. Is it true that she has the bigge-"

"THE LIVING SHOULD NOT LINGER IN THE LANDS OF THE DEAD!"

STaaDNA HIN LeiN

Approaching the now heavily panting Tsun,Felldir the Old said: "Interesting choice of words there. Unbound Your World, was it? Where on Nirn did you send him?"

Gathering his breath Tsun spoke with a noticeably hoarse throat.

"No Idea…"

Ever felt like you have been turned into liquid and then repeatedly smashed into a side of a glass bowl until a small crack developed only for you to then be pushed through this extremely small hole. No? Well I did, and let me tell you it hurts…a lot. That's why once I found myself once more on solid ground I was very much pissed.

My once in lifetime chance to sample all of the pleasures of what amounts to warrior heaven cruelly taken away by a brain-dead oaf. When I get back there, after of course a long life which will include me becoming Emperor of all Tamriel and building an Imperial harem, I'm going to make him wish he was never born…created…came into being…whatever. Bottom line is I'm kicking him in the balls!

Now let's see where that idiot sent me? Hmm…sand, curved swords and a big black dragon about to eat a little girl.

Wait, curved swords! It's obvious where he sent me. Hammerfell home of the Redguards.

It's different than I imagined; most people don't seem to be Redguards at all. I should probably ask around… stupid.

Quickly stepping between the dragon and the girl I readied a ward in my left and a sword in my right. A bit of dragon slaying would get my mind off the missed opportunity.

It seems that the dragon didn't like me getting in way of its meal cause it immediately blew a great column of fire in my direction. Luckily my ward held, if only barely. I needed to get closer; don't know how many of those I can take. Time for the Dragonrend.

JOOR ZAH FRUL

That should keep it grounded. Sprinting to its side and avoiding the snapping of the dragons jaws I quickly began my usual tactic of wailing on its wings until it was wounded enough to attack head on.

Wow, the people in the stands really like watching me fight this thing – they are going crazy with the cheering. Makes me feel real appreciated, unlike those Nords who don't even say thank you after you save their whole village from becoming a smoking hole in the ground. I mean, I saved Morthol three times and what do I get in return? "_I have never seen such a thing_" and then they all went back to work like nothing had happened. Ungrateful peasants.

Oh well, time to end this. Jumping up on top of the dragon's head I smack its snout a couple of times before finally stabbing it through its eye.

Turning around and raising my bloody sword in the air the crowd goes wild. Huh, the little girl seems to have fallen to her knees in awe and is now crying tears of joy. At least I think that's what she's doing. Just wait until I start absorbing the soul of the dragon, I've been told it looks amazing.

Any second now.

Why isn't the dragon's corpse burning up? Maybe it's not dead yet…

Taking out the mace of Molag Ba I start hammering the dragon's head until it resembles a bloody mess. Still nothing.

The little girl is screaming now; yes, I know it's gruesome, but it's necessary. I'm still not absorbing its soul.

It's almost as if somebody else…

No, it couldn't be.

Turing around and looking at the men with the curved swords I ask with my most menacing voice.

"Alright, which one of you milk-drinkers stole my dragon kill?"

**A/N:** First time posting. Read and review please :)


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